Other stuff about the farm and your's truly!

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Fathers of daughters sometimes don't catch on...

Here on the farm, we have daughters... Three to be precise, aged 26 to 17. My hubby has been a father of daughters for 22 years (coming late to the role, but stepping up to the plate and doing pretty good). We are down to the last daughter in the house. Lyndsey is the one related by blood to him, and it is obvious. She's pretty much had her daddy wrapped around her finger since she was born. He has encouraged her to speak her mind, allowed her to "correct" him, and let her get away with a few things that her older sisters gasp aloud at when they see it happening. We've been lucky, it hasn't gone to her head and she isn't horribly spoiled. She gets good grades, doesn't get into trouble and has a solid outlook on reality. We talk very openly with her and she isn't afraid to question what we've told her. An example: we've always told our kids that though we didn't want them to go out drinking (remember, I'm a recovering alcoholic), we wanted them to call us rather than drive impaired (or ride with someone impaired). We told them we wouldn't be angry or punish them if they called us. It's never happened. The oldest told me the couple of times she had a drink, it was at a friends house where she was spending the night and she didn't need a ride. The middle one told me she never wanted to drink before she was 21 and didn't. Anyway, the other night, Lyndsey and I heard about a party where a bunch of MIP's (minor in possession) were issued to kids she goes to school with. Lyndsey said something along the lines of "I could go to a party if I wanted to. You said you'd pick me up,right?" I sat there, thinking "well, crap, how do I handle this now?" I replied "yes, and you wouldn't be in trouble, but you know the trust we have in you would be damaged, right?" She says "Why? I would be honest about drinking, so why would that damage the trust?" Um, hmmm,okay, gotta think again... Dang, hate it when the child is smarter than me... So we spent about 30 minutes bantering back and forth and she finally admits she would probably just go to the party so she could turn everyone in to the police, as she thinks drinking is stupid, especially underage. Needless to say, she makes us work to keep up with her. Now that I've gone off the dad topic, I'll go back to it. We have some younger friends (we're in our fifty's, they are mid-twenties with children) who come over often to visit. He is, um, rather "redneck". So tonight Lyndsey said something about Mandela and what he did for the world. The young man said something negative (more from a lack of knowledge, I believe, than racism), Lyndsey started to say something and my husband "shushed" her. I looked up from what I was doing and just waited for the fireworks. Lyndsey bit her tongue and let the young man continue. After they had left and Steve was outside saying goodbye to them, Lyndsey turned to me and said "Can you believe he "shushed" me?" I just nodded, waiting for him to step back into the house and the fireworks to start. She did very well, though (actually much better than I would have, hmmmm). She told him that it was wrong of him to encourage her to have her own opinion and then refuse to let her state it. She went on for about 5 minutes and did have some tears in her eyes (anger does that to the females in my family). He kept apologizing. After she had left the room, he looked at me, with surprise in his eyes, saying "It wasn't that big of a deal, she should have let it go." I just shook my head. She still isn't speaking to him, except she managed to convince him it would be better if he made her chocolate chip cookies. So guess who's making cookies? One of these days, he'll learn...

No comments:

Post a Comment