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Monday, May 7, 2012

Life goes on...

Not a lot to share with all of you right now.  I made it through the week, and the crying is becoming more sporadic, which is a good thing.  My eyes finally look normal. 

Saturday I went to a beginner's knitting class, in memory of Heather, who would always try new things and encouraged me to try also.  I have ripped out the scarf I started 3 times, but I will finish it.  I may never knit again (I seem to have a hard time on projects that require concentration), but at least I can say I tried.  I did see an amazing loom for sale at the store for making socks.  It's approximately $30, and I need feed so it's not on my list yet, but I'll work on it. 

On Sunday, we had a small potluck gathering (40 plus) with Heather's family and I was blessed to host it.  The weather was beautiful and it was a casual gathering of Heather's neighbors, local school staff, 4-H folks and kids (lots of kids). I think it was good for Heather's daughter's Greta and Elia, to be able to run, laugh, climb trees (Elia got stuck up high in our maple and her dad and Steve had to help coax her down) and just breathe.  I felt so bad for Heather's sister, Lainey.  She had a really hard time and is very shy, so I would just sit by her off and on, put my arm around her, lean on her, and worry about her.  Her soul is hurting so bad.  She misses her sister so much, and I wish I could fix it.  Heather's husband put up a good front, but every hug he gave me told me so much more is going on inside. 

I don't have many pictures, but others took them and I'll get copies. I promise you I will post the video that was taken of Elia (Heather's youngest daughter) and myself rolling down a slope in my yard.  She asked me to race her down it by rolling and I couldn't tell her no.  So, I did.. I thought I'd have to use a lot more energy, but the slope was steeper than I thought and I went over and over and over.  Got up really dizzy, and today my body is saying "you fool", but since Elia told me I was "cool", my soul is saying "yay, lets do it again."

Wonderful friends helped clean up, while I was sitting with Lainey.  I didn't even realize they were doing it til they were almost done.  It was so nice to just have to put clean dishes away and put up some odds and ends.  It's people like this who make the world perfect.  I wish it would be more that way all the time. Which leads me into my next steps of life.  I will share it soon, but it's still in the planning stages and I still need to grieve a bit...

In the meantime, life goes on, Wednesday night we have a feed seminar (and Heather's girls will be there-they are truly amazing) and Thursday night is a 4-H leaders meeting and our extension agent has asked a grief counselor to be there for us, which is a great idea.  I am working in the greenhouse and around the property at home and trying to get more focused again when I'm at work. I kinda lost direction last week. 

Hope you are all well and your life is filled with Hope, Joy and Faith!

4 comments:

  1. Yes, people do pull together and support one another during times like this. That's something I really appreciate about living in a rural area or sparsely populated one like ours. Even people you don't know personally will be there in a flash when the need arises. Heather's husband and girls must be comforted at this terrible time feeling so many arms around them.

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  2. you had me chuckling with this blog a couple of times. but I know what you mean ,and I saw that other photo of her she showed on face book(I think-I also think my mind is going a lot faster these days) but that and along with how you speak about her ,she truly seemed beautiful on the outside as well as the inside

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  3. Glad to hear you are moving ahead and trying new things, and nice that your calendar is staying full!

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  4. Ruth, I keep wondering why I haven't heard from you, but now I'm wondering if I ever contacted you! I want to send you a little consolation prize for my May Day drawing because you had the faith to enter even though I STILL (bad, bad blogger) haven't finished making your prize for my 2011 lambing contest. Email me so I can find out your preferences.

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