Life on a farm is kinda laid back??? Huh

Those words don't fit the lifestyle of a farmer, do they? 

After attending three celebration's of life this week (2 yesterday) for 3 amazing lives, today and tomorrow will be spent getting caught up on the place.

Planting corn, tomatoes, and whatever else catches my fancy today, moving hay from the garage to the hay barn (actually, it's a 5 by 14 lean-to with a door, but who's being picky), and working on my to-do list.  I forsee aching muscles and dirty jeans, but that's okay.  I think it's fun, and truthfully, those of us who have livestock (of any kind, from rabbits, to steers, to chickens, to sheep, etc) and have a garden of any kind do think it's fun, because otherwise we wouldn't do it, would we??

We will throw some relaxation into the mix.  We are going to have a fire in the pit tonight and I've thrown out an open invitation to friends and family.  You are invited too!  Tomorrow, I may go ahead and spend the money to drive 30 miles and see a matinee (Men in Black 3 or the Avengers both look good).  My goal for the summer is to have some fun.  I have a "Summer Bucket List" I'll share in a few days...

It's the Memorial Day holiday, and I want to thank all who served and are still serving that gave me the freedom to live the life I lead today.  I also will take time to remember those who I've lost who have been a part of that life.

Wishing you all a weekend of hope, joy and faith!

Book Review! The Ultimate Survival Guide.

I got a Nook for Mother's Day, and my middle daughter, Michelle, who reviews books on her BLOG referred me to Netgalley for great books to read and review. 

I got my first book, The Ultimate Survival Guide by Rich Johnson and promptly proceded to read it.

Okay, I have to say that I often have trouble with being honest when it comes to giving my opinion (you know, things like "No, that dress looks fine" when it doesn't, or "What a beautiful baby" when it isn't, but I have vowed that I will be fully truthful with my book reviews.

I have always read "How-to" books and since becoming more concerned about tsunamis and earthquakes (I live on the southern Oregon coast, about 80 feet about sea level) and the fact that our country and our world are becoming more unstable every day, I have done a lot of research on survival. 

So, in regards to this book, it had lots of great, basic information for almost all survival situations, from tornadoes to earthquakes and blood loss to purifying water, to catching fish in open water.  It was written in language that was easily understandable to most everyone, in my opinion.  What that means is that the average lay-man should be able to follow the directions. 

However, I found that it wasn't that much different from all the other survival books out there.  In some ways, it was worse, because other books use drawings and diagrams that show more efficiently how to construct some of the suggestions.  This book had very few actual photos or pictures showing how to make something work. 

Scattered throughout the book were true stories to help explain the contents, but I found that it distracted from the suggestions given.

I will say that I found the "Dear Reader" chapter in the very beginning to be the most helpful portion of the whole book, as it focused on attitude and doing the right things when you need to.  It is one of the most important parts of surviving...

So, if you have your choice of survival books, this one is okay.  I can't say I'd rush out and buy it, but that's just my opinion...

Absent...

I've been absent awhile and I wanted to let you know I'm still here.  This last couple weeks was really crazy.   We held a small potluck in a type of memorial for Heather.  Lots of friends, neighbors and family joined to eat (what we do best, it seems) and visit.  There were tears, laughter and children playing. Heres the picture of Heather's sister Lainey (who kept her sunglasses on because she felt she looked sooo awful) and myself.  She's as tall as her sister.  She has a beautiful soul and I already feel very close to her.  She lives too far away, tho...

A few days later we had the livestock seminar and Elia, Heather's youngest daughter, won the last raffle they had, for a pair of muck boots.  She was sooo excited, and I got goosebumps, because I felt Heather was taking care of her still.

Really, I have doing pretty good until today, then for some reason, my heart started hurting.  I miss my friend.  I miss her smiling face, her excitement, her reminding me to get real... I look at my greenhouse and wish I could share it with her.  Every time I look at a nettle plant (which is daily), I get mad because I didn't get the chance to harvest nettles with her.  I ache for her husband, her beautiful daughters, her sister and parents, everyone who knew her.  I know that life must go on, and I know this will get easierHer Celebration of Life is this coming Sunday, during the solar eclipse, which is so fitting, because the sun has definitly become dimmer in the last few weeks. 

I may be away again for a few days, I have a feeling that I'm gonna be focusing inward for a while, and while I'll still be following all of your adventures, I may need to just vegetate a bit.

Sending wishes full of hope, joy and faith!

Life goes on...

Not a lot to share with all of you right now.  I made it through the week, and the crying is becoming more sporadic, which is a good thing.  My eyes finally look normal. 

Saturday I went to a beginner's knitting class, in memory of Heather, who would always try new things and encouraged me to try also.  I have ripped out the scarf I started 3 times, but I will finish it.  I may never knit again (I seem to have a hard time on projects that require concentration), but at least I can say I tried.  I did see an amazing loom for sale at the store for making socks.  It's approximately $30, and I need feed so it's not on my list yet, but I'll work on it. 

On Sunday, we had a small potluck gathering (40 plus) with Heather's family and I was blessed to host it.  The weather was beautiful and it was a casual gathering of Heather's neighbors, local school staff, 4-H folks and kids (lots of kids). I think it was good for Heather's daughter's Greta and Elia, to be able to run, laugh, climb trees (Elia got stuck up high in our maple and her dad and Steve had to help coax her down) and just breathe.  I felt so bad for Heather's sister, Lainey.  She had a really hard time and is very shy, so I would just sit by her off and on, put my arm around her, lean on her, and worry about her.  Her soul is hurting so bad.  She misses her sister so much, and I wish I could fix it.  Heather's husband put up a good front, but every hug he gave me told me so much more is going on inside. 

I don't have many pictures, but others took them and I'll get copies. I promise you I will post the video that was taken of Elia (Heather's youngest daughter) and myself rolling down a slope in my yard.  She asked me to race her down it by rolling and I couldn't tell her no.  So, I did.. I thought I'd have to use a lot more energy, but the slope was steeper than I thought and I went over and over and over.  Got up really dizzy, and today my body is saying "you fool", but since Elia told me I was "cool", my soul is saying "yay, lets do it again."

Wonderful friends helped clean up, while I was sitting with Lainey.  I didn't even realize they were doing it til they were almost done.  It was so nice to just have to put clean dishes away and put up some odds and ends.  It's people like this who make the world perfect.  I wish it would be more that way all the time. Which leads me into my next steps of life.  I will share it soon, but it's still in the planning stages and I still need to grieve a bit...

In the meantime, life goes on, Wednesday night we have a feed seminar (and Heather's girls will be there-they are truly amazing) and Thursday night is a 4-H leaders meeting and our extension agent has asked a grief counselor to be there for us, which is a great idea.  I am working in the greenhouse and around the property at home and trying to get more focused again when I'm at work. I kinda lost direction last week. 

Hope you are all well and your life is filled with Hope, Joy and Faith!

Support the arts and have a chance to win a prize!

As some of you know, I love my daughters... They are all talented in many special ways.  They are also 3 totally different, individual young women, which I am proud of! 

My middle daughter, Michelle Joy, is an aspiring artist (as well as having a beautiful voice that I wish she'd get brave enough to share more).  She has taken classes in college, and sold some of her art.  Much of her artwork revolves around her love of reading.  That is the one thing that all the girls have in common with each other (and their momma)-they love to read!  Books are so important to all of us.

So, Michelle is trying to take her artwork to the next level, but money is tight.  She isn't asking for handouts, but she is offering a great opportunity to win some book-related goodies.  She writes a blog for Young-Adult books (some of the best reading there is today) and has had a lot of stuff donated. 

Today, I bought $10 worth of chances to win... If I win anything, I'll be giving it to my young friends, Greta and Elia (who lost their mother last Saturday-see here).  Their momma, Heather, also taught them the joy of books.  I never see them without a book to delve into and read if they have a moment. 

Please, if you love reading, or would like the chance to support a young woman who is trying to follow her dreams, read her blog and buy some chances to win some great prizes.  If you want to support her but the prizes aren't your thing, feel free to mention Greta and Elia and if you win, she'll make sure that they receive the goodies.

Visit her blog The Passionate Bookworm

A little farming help...

A young friend of mine Sam, started reading my blog... he asked me a few questions about my garden and chickens and the amount of room required.  So, I walked around the property and made some mental notes and thought I'd share some "advice" but please don't take it for the absolute way to do it, as it's not.

First my chicken area.  I have about 24 hens and a rooster that spend their nights in an 8 foot by 8 foot plywood coop.  Here in the Pacific Northwest, on the coast, I don't worry to much about heat.  Mainly, they need to be able to be dry and be out of the wind at night, and be able to get in there during the day if the storms get too bad.  My neighbor lets his poultry free-range, but I don't do that because they'll wander over into the other neighbor's yard and I don't want them to destroy their flower beds, or my flower beds.  We have our chicken coop open into a yard that is about 40 feet by 30 feet (so 1,200 square feet). It is pretty much bare dirt after 3 years, but they have plenty of room to roam. Then that yard opens up into my garden area, so in the late fall, winter and early spring the chickens have the run of those areas also and can help fertilize the garden area.

If you wanted to keep just a few chickens, 4 or 5 would supply a family of 4 quite well.  You can raise them in a small coop or a chicken tractor. You don't have to buy a fancy one, you can make one easily out of scrap and salvaged or scavenged supplies. You can order day-old chicks from a hatchery.  That way you make sure you are getting pullets (the ones that lay the eggs).  You can also buy them from local chicken folks, though there is no way of guaranteeing their age.  You can learn a lot about keeping chickens on-line, or through books found at your local library.  Along with layer and basic scratch (though right now, to save money I feed dry cob (corn, oats and barley) in place of scratch), chickens will eat just about anything in the way of scraps, and they love grass cut or pulled from a yard.

Garden-wise, we have a "perennial" garden, containing rhubarb, artichokes, blueberries, raspberries and strawberries, asparagus (which after 3 years is still not doing much), and I also have beds in that area that I plant onions and garlic in.  This area is fenced off with panels (used during the garden time for my pole beans) during the time that the chickens have the run of the main area, so they can't destroy it.  This area is about 50 feet by 40 feet (so about 2000 square feet).  It is not full, there is a gap in the middle that will contain my corn and pumpkins this year.  I grow the pumpkins for decorations only, as it's not worth the time required to process them. Steve also put some roses behind the fence (which is 6' tall to keep the deer out) so that they actually grow.

Then, we have the "main" garden area, which is about 30 feet by 50 feet (so about 1500 feet).  This is where the major portion of our growing is done.  I am not really good at utilizing space, tho, and I hate to weed.  This usually contains our beans (pole beans always, after the first year of bush beans), cucumbers, squash, carrots (I've been really lucky with carrots the last few years), beets, etc. 

There is one more area left, and that is a small patch in front of the chicken run, about 30 feet by 40 feet (so about 1200 feet).  We are still working on getting that area fertilized and worked up good.  It held our corn, pumpkins and beans last year, and though the beans did great, the corn and pumpkins didn't.  In this picture you'll see the side garden, the chicken run and the chicken coop.

Then, I have beds behind the garage (where my tomatoes do their best, as the sun is on them throughout the day), and surrounding the greenhouse.  I put posts in the ground around these and then put deer fencing up to keep the pretty brown nibblers out.  Yes, they do eat tomatoes, celery and kale.

So, that's a general overview.  I'll go a little more in-depth in the next couple of posts about how you can garden with a small yard or even a balcony.  Just a few growing things helps the soul.

The funny thing is, as a kid and teenager I HATED gardening!!  I'm still not real fond of the weeding part of it, but my feelings have changed about the whole gardening thing sooo much!  Sam, I hope I haven't totally confused you...

Spring is arriving, but it doesn't seem real...

I went for a walk today, around the farm.  The wild dogwood is in bloom.  I think this one must have been ones my great-grandparents successfully transplanted on the property because there are no other dogwoods around us.

The lemon geraniums are starting to bloom.  I love the smell of them... I plant them all over and crush the leaves between my fingers as I wander around.

The pink flowering cherry, not good for much but looking at, but it is still beautiful to see.

The columbine that come back in my beds every year are starting to bloom. That means the deer will be wandering through tonight or tomorrow night to eat them.  It's like clockwork.

My great-grandma's lilac is blooming too.  The scent fills me full of emotions I can't even begin to describe.

Normally, this time of year I am full of joy as spring comes into bloom.  Now, I don't feel it.  I feel loss, sadness, an ache.  I miss my friend and I am hurting for her family.  I know life goes on, but right now it seems in limbo.  The animals still need cared for, dinner and chores still need done and the world still turns.  I didn't talk to Heather every day, sometimes we only touched base once a week or so by e-mail or a quick text.  I didn't realize how valuable that was to me until it was gone.  I saw her husband today, along with her sister and one of her daughters.  Seeing her sister and hearing her speak was like seeing Heather again, though like through a mist.  They don't look a lot alike, but the resemblance is there, enough to make me feel for a moment that everything was okay.  I hugged each of them, more than once.  I didn't cry, but the tears were there.  We talked briefly, and I know that we will talk more.   There are memories to be shared, more tears to cry and a way to figure out how we will all go on without her.  And we will, but it will take time, and energy and a strength that I don't have right now.  I will live my life right now as I live my sobriety, one day at a time. 

Maybe that's how we all should live life, right?  Prepare and plan for the future, but living for today and tomorrow.  If someone invites you to go to the beach, go... the laundry can wait!  That horseback or bike ride you keep putting off because you think you don't have the spare time... Please take that ride.  Sleep outside under the stars, just because you can.  Roast a marshmellow on a fire, skip rocks across a stream. Call your parents, your friends, the family you may not have spoken to in years and tell them you love them! It isn't too late right now, but it may be tomorrow. 

I know I'll get past this sorrow.  It is inevitable, as none of us could function in a world where we let our grief rule our lives.  Right now, though, I will take the time to grieve, without letting it destroy me.  I will look at Heather's pictures and read the beautiful things others are saying about their memories of her, knowing that I am not alone in my sadness.  I will say prayers to my Higher Power for peace for her family and her friends and I will go on, because that's what living life is about. 

On an upbeat note, a friend challenged us to do something in Heather's memorie that symbolized her unique personality.  I can crochet (barely) and I've often thought about knitting, but I'm scared of it. This upcoming a new fabric and yarn shop in town, "By My Hand" is offering free beginning knitting classes.  I signed up.  I posted it on facebook and so far 6 others, including my daughter Lyndsey, are joining me, in Heather's memory.  I think, that though my favorite colors are usually sage greens, browns and creams, I will select a brighter color, maybe one of the many colors of heather.  It's time to break out of my mold.

Grief, pain, unexplained death.

Do you remember my Dutch Oven that my friend Heather gave me because I went to her house at 2 am to help her goat kid when she was out of town?  Heather was always doing things like that.  One day she brought me a casserole to work because I was worn out from our ewes having their babies and having 5 bottle calves at the same time.  She always had a smile on her face and was there to lend a hand or her Triple A card (long story).  She was at my house this last Wednesday for our "grown-up 4-H group" where we crocheted dish scrubbies.  She gave me a big hug when she left and told me she loved me.   Thank God for that.

Heather died yesterday in a tragic drowning accident.  She was stand-up paddling boarding with her husband and two daughters (13 and 11) and the line to her board that was connected to her ankle got caught on a snag and she was pulled under. 

I am in shock.  She loved her husband and daughters, loved life, was a "granola" type (all organic, skirts, braids, no candy, etc.) who loved technology and was addicted to Pepsi (I used to tease her about that when she nagged me about my double stuff Oreo addiction.).  We basically agreed to not discuss politics (she was very outspoken about her feelings about our government, whereas I tend to not get involved) or legalizing marijuana. Her husband called me today to tell me about her death, and he said to please always remember to tell those you love how much you love them, because you never know.  He then told me how much she valued my friendship and how much she cared about me.  I started crying and with the exception of an hour or so for our 4-H meeting (which her husband and daughters attended because they know Heather would have wanted them to keep going), I haven't stopped.

Life makes no sense, and it's not fair.  However, Heather would have been the first one to tell me that.  I don't know why this happened.  However, at a recent funeral, the minister said that the fact is, we live in a world with dangers and bad things happen, even to those who are experienced.  Do we hide from life and not do anything that might hurt or cause death? Because realistically, that could be anything we do... from driving to work, to exercising (I did Zumba for the first time last night and thought I was going to have a heart attack), to eating an apple (I choked on an apple slice a few months ago and it really scared me).  We can't be afraid of living... and doing new things.  Heather taught me that.  She wasn't afraid to be different, to stand up for what she believed in and say what she felt. 

But I am so numb, it hurts so much... I don't know why... and yes, I've lost loved ones, but honestly, my grandmother, my dad, people who had been sick a long time.  This is the first time I've lost someone out of the blue, and I didn't know how much it would hurt.  It hurts bad... I ache, and I can't imagine what her familly is going through.  I can't stop crying, my eyes hurt, my nose is raw and I've changed my shirt 3 times because keep blowing my nose on it. 

Life does have to go on, and Heather would have said something like "grieve, remember me and get on with what you need to do". 

So, that is what I will do, but for a little while, I will grieve for the loss of a very amazing woman and I will pray for her husband and daughters.

Heather Bonser-Bishop, know that you are loved and will be remembered!